Mission Statement:
To endeavor to bring to all residents of the Five States the most current and important news from across the entire Five States region. Never yellow, the Five States Herald vows to serve only the people of the Five States, from New Austin to Lemoyne, free of charge now and forever.
Professor In Rage Over Multiple Submissions!
By Sofia Kathleen Fairfax (Lead Correspondent)
I have heard many times that when academics fight, it’s something you need to see. Drunk historians getting into a brawl is perhaps amusing and a bit sad in equal measure. Well, an academic fight did happen this week, over an even pettier cause than most fights.
A professor and a student, whose names are not disclosed at this time, teach and study in Philadelphia, respectively. The professor teaches science, and this week is the finals exam for the class. A student submitted his paper on Tuesday morning. Then on Wednesday, then Thursday, and on Friday. He kept changing the essay draft after finding more information to support his argument. He felt this was normal behavior.
On Friday, the professor evidently did not think so and snapped, throwing everything on his table around and accusing the student of idiocy and laziness. The student responded by throwing a chair. The two then proceeded to throw fists until local police arrived. Both are expected not to be appearing in school anytime soon.
I don’t know who was right; I just know that this school, for many years, will be known as that one with the teacher-student fight.
Outlaws attack Tumbleweed fought off by locals
By Jose Chavez
Del Lobo gang members attacked Tumbleweed early this week. The gang attacked suddenly, catching the small and decaying town by surprise. The attack led to several injuries and two dead locals, on of whom was a deputy. “The deaths occurred in the initial attack,” said Sheriff Sam Freeman, “folks weren’t ready to be shot on a quiet day.” The deputies and locals fought the Del Lobo gang members off. Among the locals was retired bounty hunter Nathaniel Cross. Cross led a posse of deputies and locals in pursuit of the gang members once the attack was thwarted. Mr. Cross had nothing to say but one of the posse members said that Mr. Cross led the group calmly and that not a single Del Lobo escaped.
Ambarino resident up 24 hours watching over ginseng garden
By Jane Duran
The end of the year brings a lot of risky behavior in folks who have regrets for what they failed to accomplish all year long. As a result, there have been an increase in injuries and illnesses across the Five States. This has resulted in a high demand for ginseng, a component in various healing tonics. While ginseng is plentiful in places all over the Five States, a particular home in Ambarino is home to a dense garden which has been a favorite gathering location for foragers. “It ain’t wild ginseng, it’s mine,” said the home owner, “and I’ll defend it.”
That home owner remained camped outside of their home for a full day, threatening any forager who arrived for ginseng. Wielding a double barrel shotgun, he made sure that nobody could steal his ginseng. However, his 24 hour surveillance period had several holes. “I had to use the restroom and eat,” he admitted, “and a few times I came back and saw my ginseng picked through but the thief was long gone.” Local authorities took the man’s report but without a physical description of the alleged thief, they said it is unlikely any arrest can be made.
Rebounding bison population back on decline
By Odell Clifton
For the last year, naturalists have reported that the bison population in the Great Plains was rebounding significantly. The population boost came about as a result of a declining population of hunters in the Five States. “Several folks have left the region entirely, many of those were hunters,” said one naturalist, “and it gave the bison room to grow.” However, demand for bison fur has led to a focus on the majestic beast once again.
Hunters have been coming to the Great Plains in great numbers again. Naturalists monitoring the bison population have said the decline was noticed early this week. It is estimated to be about a 10 percent decline. West Elizabeth authorities have remained quiet, with the state governor having nothing to say on the issue. A state legislator did introduce a bill to protect the bison, but it never got out of committee. Naturalists say if nothing is done the bison will be extinct within a couple of decades.
Gibson Smith, accused of being “The Executioner,” released
By Nick McCrary
After new victims of The Executioner were found, authorities dropped their case against Gibson Smith. Mr. Smith was arrested as a result of his connection to a victim of The Executioner. His arrest was well publicized as federal investigators were eager to calm the public and make an arrest. However, now that the first high profile arrest made in The Executioner investigation has turned out to be false, the public confidence in federal agents has declined. This is not the first false arrest related to The Executioner, just the first that was well publicized for weeks. Special Agent Rice Philips spoke directly to the press, stating, “Gibson Smith was falsely arrested by honest agents acting on the best information at the time. While we will learn from this action to do better, we have no regret in acting swiftly on available information to protect the public.”
Special Agent Philips announced a wide partnership with local police departments and sheriff stations. “Local law enforcement are being instructed to contact us directly whenever a report made matches a certain criteria, we will then move in an investigate for connections to The Executioner.” What exactly the criteria are was left unsaid. Absolem Thornburg, Mr. Smith’s attorney, criticized the overzealous investigation. “While I understand the desire for swift action when lives are at stake, Agent Philips and his team had nothing but a known relationship between my client and a victim,” Mr. Thornburg said, “are they going to arrest everyone connected to victims of a serial murderer?”
Sheep farmers increase security
By Emery Cosberry
Sheep farmers in Valentine have hired more security. Several Valentine residents have reported noticing the increase in armed guards in the sheep pens. Valentine is a violent town but that is not why security was increased. For years Valentine’s violence did not result in an increase security. However, after a recent attack on sheep using toxic moonshine, ranchers have made the decision to spend more money on protecting their herd. The extra security has been making their presence known, patrolling the area and approaching any unknown individual who gets near the sheep pens. The new guards to ignore all other violence in the town, ignoring robberies and assaults. “They ain’t paid to police the town, that’s the deputies’ jobs,” said one rancher. Though attacks on sheep are rare, the recent attack was very costly for ranchers and the action is meant to keep attacks rare.
WANTED!
Investigators: Travel the Five States and report on what is going on.
Writers: Write the stories investigators find!
Photographers:
To take photographs to be used in the Herald.
Can also do all three!
Witness spots the “coal killer” in Saint Denis fleeing scene of a murder
By Aloysius Levron
Saint Denis residents were awakened in the middle of the night by a gunshot, followed by police whistles. Several policemen responded to the gunshot, guided by witnesses close to the incident. They entered the home of Monroe Whitmore, a Saint Denis businessman, who was found dead. Mr. Whitmore held investments in several Saint Denis companies and was known to use his large investments to influence day to day operations of businesses he invested in. One business owner who took an investment from Mr. Whitmore spoke to me anonymously and had this to say of him, “he seemed to become interested in my business randomly, getting more hands on from time to time, threatening to take back his investment to get his way.” Getting his way included things such as reducing employee count, cutting pay, and raising quotas. Other business owners who took investments from Mr. Whitmore told similar stories. Mr. Whitmore is only the latest of wealthy men accused of treating their employees or business partners poorly to be killed in the last few weeks. Like many of those victims, Mr. Whitmore was found with a lump of coal in his pocket. As the profile of victims has expanded beyond just owners of coal mines, authorities have struggled to gain information on the killer. Until now.
A witness saw someone leaving Mr. Whitmore’s house after the gunshot. “I couldn’t believe my eyes, but I saw him running on the damn rooftop!” the witness said, “it was dark but he had on a large coat, and a hat, looked red and white.” Neighbors did not report any footsteps on the roof, but several did report the sound of bells. “I was quite focus, you understand, because of the gunshot,” another witness said, “and I was listening keenly to be aware, and I heard the sound of bells.” Saint Denis police followed up on the witnesses’ statements and searched the area the shooter was seen fleeing. However, they did not find the killer.
Monroe Whitmore lived alone and nobody else was injured.
An Evil Has Passed, Let it Never be Remembered
By Sofia Kathleen Fairfax (Lead Correspondent)
A man has died recently. Peaceful after living a long time. He was not a good man; he was a crucial individual in the Civil War and continued to do reprehensible things ever since. We shall not speak his name, for he doesn’t deserve it spoken. We shall practice Damnatio memoriae today, as the Romans called it, condemnation of memory.
He was a leading cause of leaving the United States nearly 40 years ago. From speech after speech, he rallied those people to war. Even after the conflict, he refused to admit wrongdoing or what the cause of the conflict was. He went out west and tried to found cities and settlements of his own, but they all failed. He enriched himself by allying with the many robber barons you see across the land, even they didn’t like him.
He reportedly funded outlaw groups for petty reasons, the Lemoyne Raiders among a large selection of clients. His family eventually left him, perhaps out of distaste or dwindling funds. Even at the end, he was still rich enough to own a mansion.
His passing is doubtlessly mourned by many, and celebrated in equal measure. Like Arnold before him, may his memory dwindle and fade, like most of history’s monsters
Country covered in snow
By Frederick Vannesse
Winter is coming but the snow is already here. The nation was greeted by blankets of white just in time for the holiday season. Americans are parking their cars away for the season, bundling up in warm clothing, putting on gloves and boots, and heading out into the snow to play. Authorities are warning residents across the nation, however, that though the snow offers a unique recreational activity it can be very dangerous. “Folks know the snow is cold, they just don’t always think about the consequences of the cold,” said a spokesman for the federal government, “stay warm and cover up, skin exposed to the skin can be dangerous in seconds.” The warnings are unlikely to detour Americans from playing in the snow, but authorities hope it will make them more cautious.
Division of Samoa finalized between the U.S. and Germany
By Ivy Seager
The Samoan Islands have long been the focus of debate between the U.S. and Germany. The two nations have been arguing over who should own the island nation. This week an agreement has finally been reached. The islands of Samoa will be divided up between the two countries, with each taking control of different parts of Samoa. The locals were not part of the negotiation and it is unclear whether they were at all consulted. A source on the ground indicates that any participation of the locals was performative. Neither the U.S. nor the German government offered a comment.
The Five States Herald 