Mission Statement:
To endeavor to bring to all residents of the Five States the most current and important news from across the entire Five States region. Never yellow, the Five States Herald vows to serve only the people of the Five States, from New Austin to Lemoyne, free of charge now and forever.
Women Intend to Join Legendary French Unit!
By Sofia Kathleen Fairfax (Lead Correspondent)
There are many grand units often considered the best at fighting. From Napoleon’s Imperial Guard to the Berdan Sharpshooters of our Civil War, but one unit stands out among all, the French Foreign Legion.
This unit is mostly filled by foreign volunteers, yet the language barrier is not an issue, far from it. These men go through rigorous training the likes you or I can barely comprehend. Many wash out, but those who remain are fierce, as any soldier in the Mexican army can attest when only 60 Legionnaires fought several thousand Mexicans in the 1860s. It’s not a unit that excludes women, but none have succeeded past training.
That may change in the near or far future, various French women are making it a goal to join the Legion, whether for honor and glory or for the thrill of it. One woman going by Élise is confident she will prevail above all.
The Legion itself has made no comment on the matter, although there are rumors that officers are not amused at the publicity and would prefer to be lower key. I must confess, I don’t find it likely anyone will succeed, but only because most men don’t succeed past training. I have been wrong before though; nothing is new under the sun they say.
The Grey Cowboy returns!
By Jose Chavez
A group of travelers were accosted by a posse of outlaws while traveling in New Austin this week. The outlaws wore full face masks, waving their guns and screaming, “trick or treat!” The outlaws attacked the travelers with physical strikes but never actually fired their guns. “They said if we cooperated they wouldn’t shoot us,” one of the victims said, “before they could do anything though, another masked man showed up.” That masked man was all in grey, with a mask across the eyes. “I was quite sure it was the vigilante, the Grey Cowboy,” the victim said, “but I thought he retired.”
The Grey Cowboy was riding a muscular Breton horse, matching the descriptions of the Grey Cowboy. The Grey Cowboy was identified as former bounty hunter Nathaniel Cross over a year. Cross lives in Tumbleweed but has not appeared as the Grey Cowboy for over a year. He made short work of the masked men, incapacitating one with a bolas before shooting the others with a Springfield rifle. After disarming the remaining attacker, he took the mask and whispered something to him and let him go. The witnesses say the Grey Cowboy departed without saying a word to them.
Man arrested in Excecutioner investigation
By Jane Duran
Hillard Herzer was arrested while fishing at Calumet Ravine. The body of water has been watched closely by the Ambarino Rangers since several bodies were found there. Access to the Ravine has been limited for weeks now as a result. Mr. Herzer has denied being a killer. “I was there to fish,” said Mr. Herzer, “it’s my favorite spot to fish and I was tired of it being told I can’t go there.” Ambarino Rangers investigated Mr. Herzer’s home and collected everything on his person at the time of arrest. As the investigation is ongoing, the Rangers were unable to confirm if any of the collected evidence linked Mr. Herzer to the Executioner’s crimes.
“What we know now, and what we are willing to state publicly,” said the leader investigator, “is that we found Mr. Herzer alone at Calumet Ravine, scanning the area, not fishing.” Investigators say that they became interested in Mr. Herzer after they watched him scope out the area twice. “On the second time we arrested him, first time, we couldn’t be certain but second time made him a person of interest.” Mr. Herzer maintains he is an innocent man.
Free candy abused by hungry cowpoke
By Odell Clifton
The general store in Blackwater has been offering free candy for the month of October. The owner quickly learned that he should have put a limit on the offer. “This gentleman just walked in and grabbed candy after candy,” said the clerk, “I cleared my throat and tried to give a hint, but he just kept grabbing more candy.” The clerk called a policeman, but the policeman said it was not stealing if it was being given away. The clerk closed the store early.
WANTED!
Investigators: Travel the Five States and report on what is going on.
Writers: Write the stories investigators find!
Photographers:
To take photographs to be used in the Herald.
Can also do all three!
Halloween has not yet passed, yet Santa Claus has already been spotted
By Donna Deshner
Heartland Overflow had a surprising visitor this week: Santa Claus. The legendary figure children believe delivers presents throughout the world on Christmas morning was spotted engaging in fist fights. One by one men lined up at the overflow to fight Santa Claus. The man in red was far from plump, described as rugged and strong. “I had never seen so many men stand no chance in a fight,” said one witness, “I had intended to fight him myself, but decided against it after I saw him fight.” One man who did fight St Nicholas had this to say, “his fists were like getting kicked by a horse and punching him was like punching a wall.” As word spread about the fighting Santa Claus folks flocked to the Overflow. However, as suddenly as he appeared, he disappeared.
Arrest made in Scarlet Meadows after odd attack
By Emeline Vickroy
A cowboy assaulted the Braithwaite Manor in an unconventional way, this week. “This feller came riding his horse fast,” said one of the guards, “then the horse jump and he jumped, spun in the air and hit my friend with an elbow strike!” The guard was hit in the chest, knocking his air out and sending him to the floor. The other guards promptly aimed their rifles at the attacker. Two Rhodes deputies arrived to take the man into custody. While officially the man was booked for battery, I learned from an anonymous source that the man was released. “Sheriff thought it was pretty funny,” said my source, “so booked him for it on the books but let ’em go.” Sheriff Gray did not comment and refused to let me see the prisoner.
Exclusive Halloween Club Pass reissued to cheers and jeers
By Adam Parvey
October returns and with it the excusive Halloween Club Pass from Wheeler, Rawson, and Co.. Like many things in the Five States, the reaction was mixed. Though the powers that be have largely abandoned the Five States and invested their resource elsewhere, newcomers continue to arrive daily. Those newcomers see a land of opportunity. A place where they can ply a trade and make a living. The Five States is still new to them with surprises around every tree. For newcomers, the reissue of the Halloween Club Pass is a true blessing. Full of items they never dreamed they could own, they were eager to shell out the gold bars to earn what they paid for.
Long time residents, however, grew increasingly frustrated. “It’s a slap in the face,” said one cowpoke, “the Wheeler and Rawson folks couldn’t offer new items?” Another long time resident shared in that frustration. “I mean, would it be too difficult to sell two passes at a time,” said one resident, “let folks choose what they buy.” Wheeler, Rawson, & Co. declined to comment for this article.
Charleston, City of History Great and Terrible
By Sofia Kathleen Fairfax (Lead Correspondent)
I do not believe most members of the Five States have ever seen Charleston, South Carolina. Doubtless they know of it, for it was the birthplace of the movement that eventually tore this nation asunder decades ago. This was neither the first nor last of the city’s violent history, which is now proudly on display.
Local historians recently have created a tourist system of a sort, where for a fee they shall walk the many streets discussing the history for all who care. Little of the history is upbeat, a tree in a park is said to be the hanging spot of the famous pirate Stede Bonnet in 1718, followed by yet more pirates who died on the rope. Criminal enterprises, murder most foul, and failed slave escapes are well documented around every corner.
Of course, recent history cannot be so easily ignored, for the fort that started the Civil War still stands proud in the harbor. The history described though, is watered down for the enjoyment of those who lost the conflict. Is such a tour truly worthwhile, if all you shall hear is misery, pain, and occasional lies? It’s not for me to say, I certainly have my qualms. Perhaps this system can one day prove effective, but only in time, long after the memory of the guns of 1865 fall silent for the last time.
Gustav Mahler conducts the Vienna Philharmonic
By Ivy Seager
Gustav Mahler is being praised for his work last week conducting the Vienna Philharmonic for the first time. Mahler has long been considered one of the best conductors of his generation. Mr. Mahler studied at the Vienna Conservatory, where he gained a reputation as being somewhat rebellious and extremely passionate about his work. Mr. Mahler has played Royal Municipal Theatre in Olmütz, the Czech National Theater, as well as the Royal Opera of Budapest. He has been praised everywhere he goes and last week’s performance leading the Vienna Philharmonic was no different. Mr. Mahler is already planning to return.
The Five States Herald 