Mission Statement:
To endeavor to bring to all residents of the Five States the most current and important news from across the entire Five States region. Never yellow, the Five States Herald vows to serve only the people of the Five States, from New Austin to Lemoyne, free of charge now and forever.
Cowpoke attacked by gang of duplicates
By Nick McCrary
October has only just arrived and already strange reports are coming in from all over the Five States. From dimensional rifts, spirit hauntings, or visitors from another planet, the bizarre is happening all over the Five States. One recent report was quite startling, even to Dr. Bishop, expert in the unexplained. “I have long suspected at least two parallel dimensions,” Dr. Bishop explained, “but this new story I heard suggests more, perhaps endless other dimensions all parallel to ours!” The story Dr. Bishop references is indeed quite bizarre. We have published stories of people being attacked by their doppelganger, explained as a different version of someone from another dimension. This week however, a stranger report was made. An individual claimed to have been attacked by half a dozen versions of themselves.
“I walked right into, well, me,” the cowpoke said, “and they hit me before I could even process what I was looking at.” The cowpoke explained that before they even stood back up they were attacked by another version of themselves. “I couldn’t be sure, but it seemed like an endless swarm of attackers, “the cowpoke said. Witnesses to the even said there were only six doppelgangers, plus the victim. “I ain’t even seen someone with so many, um twins?” said a witness, “so it was definitely strange, seemed they didn’t get along well.” The victim fled from the fight, escaping into the local sheriff’s office. They reported the attack to the local sheriff but by the time deputies investigated the doppelgangers were gone. The victim was then arrested for public drunkenness.
Dr. Bishop explained to local law enforcement that multiple dimensions exist and that the man was not drunk, but a true victim. He was also arrested and held overnight to sober up.
Man exits Tumbleweed stable disappointed
By Jose Chavez
A cowpoke visited the Tumbleweed stable to treat their horse to a special meal and a hair cut. But they got more than they bargained for. “I just wanted a slight trim, a bit of style for my horse,” the cowpoke said, “but I left at my horse had no tail at all!” The cowpoke complained, accusing the stable owner of cheating them out of their money. The stable owner said it was the horse’s fault. “Damn creature couldn’t stay calm no matter what we tried,” said a stable hand, “as soon as I tired to trim the tail it reared onto its hind legs, forcing a cut far higher.” The cowpoke was not satisfied with this explanation and demanded their money back. The stable owner refused, stating that all services are non-refundable.
The cowpoke attempted to get the Tumbleweed deputies involved but that was a failed effort. “We don’t get involved in private disputes,” said Sheriff Sam Freeman. The cowpoke left, disappointed, on a tailless horse.
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Missing man found dead in Calumet Ravine
By Jane Duran
The missing man was identified as Bob Moser, who had been reported missing in Saint Denis. The identification of Mr. Moser adds new information to the investigation into the serial killer known as The Executioner. Investigators confirmed that Mr. Moser was shot in the back of the head just like the other victims. Though investigators are still unable to identify The Executioner or provide any details about them at all, they do believe they known the killer’s motive. “We are now working on the theory that the missing men over the last several weeks are related to The Executioner killings,” said Ranger Wallace Stone, “we believe The Executioner is targeting men who cheat on their wives.” Ranger Stone has explained that they believe The Executioner to be a larger than average male, likely very strong and armed with at least a pistol.
“The victims have ranged from small to large, and so we assume the killer must be strong and large himself,” said Ranger Stone, “at least as large as his victims.” No physical description is available yet. The Ambarino Rangers are expanding their investigation, looking into the missing men and their last known whereabouts. “We believe that by tracing the final steps of these men, we will be able to put together a physical description that will ultimately lead to the killer’s identification and eventual arrest,” said Ranger Stone.
Gambler forced off table after taking hundreds in winnings
By Odell Clifton
On Friday morning a gambler sat down at the poker table after a hearty meal and a breakfast beer. They proceeded to slowly accumulate quite the pot of money. “Folks kept coming to the table and losing money,” said the bartender, “then they’d leave in frustration.” What started with a $5 buy in became a pool of over $100. “I never seen anything quite like it,” the bartender said, “by lunchtime they had over $200, maybe close to $300!” The gambler’s good luck would not last, though a losing hand would not be their downfall.
“I had just one another big hand, on a bluff, if you can believe,” the gambler said, “when everything went black and I came to with all my winnings gone.” The bartender explained that one of the gambler’s victims returned to the saloon and knocked the gambler out. “Damn fool stole the money and ran,” the bartender said, “the gambler woke up within a minute or so but the thief fled town quickly.” The gambler was disappointed, but shrugged it off and continued gambling for the rest of the night.
Gunfight at the Dakota River
By Emery Cosberry
A gunfight that reportedly lasted several minutes took place at the Dakota River, near Caliban’s Seat. A witness was camping nearby and said it started when three rowdy cowpokes attacked a fisherman. “One of the three cowpokes shot at the fisherman,” the witness said, “but somehow missed a non-moving target.” The fisherman threw their pole to the ground, ran to their horse and pulled out a rifle from the saddle. The witness stayed low, hidden in the brush in case their camp was noticed. The fisherman took cover behind a tree as the attackers fired dozens of shots at them. The moment the attackers let up to reload, the fisherman popped out of cover and fired his rifle, shooting one of the assailants in the head.
Before the other two attackers were finished reloading the fisherman fired a second shot, hitting one of them in the chest. The last attacker standing fired on the fisherman, who did not retreat back behind cover, but stood his grounded and fired a third shot. The attacker fell. The fisherman then resumed fishing as if nothing had happened. The witness left their hidden spot under the brush and returned to his tent. The fisherman continued fishing for several hours, undisturbed.
Poison Ring in Saint-Denis!
By Sofia Kathleen Fairfax (Lead Correspondent)
In a spectacle out of a different era, a pair of wealthy women in Saint-Denis had plotted to poison numerous citizens of note. They had been planning this event for months, only to get tipped off by a servant girl. Police are still confused as to the motivation for these deeds.
Late on the evening of Wednesday, a girl knocked on the door of the police station. Local officers were asleep and not yet dressed when she entered. She was a young Irish girl, somewhere in her teens. She said two wealthy women who had hired her, were attempting to poison an upcoming dinner. The dinner was going to be attended by the mayor, the governor, and various rich and influential locals.
The two women, Sergia and Cornelia, were arrested in the middle of the night. Police seized vials of various poisons, including arsenic and flypaper dipped into a jar. Cornelia tried to drink the arsenic but failed.
Police are trying to find a motivation but cannot find one. The two women were quite wealthy, not connected to any crime organization, and had no criminal record. They appear to have tried to do this horrible crime, for the sake of it. What a sobering reminder, sometimes you don’t need a reason to do great evil, just the time and skills.
Copyright War over Song continues!
By Sofia Kathleen Fairfax (Lead Correspondent)
We don’t usually cover the biggest news coming from New York; we are Five States through and through, but this issue is likely to bleed over to the Five States, so it’s very much worth discussing. There’s a copyright war over a popular song, a song you probably have sung.
Auld Lang Syne is a popular song to sing when the New Year arrives; it’s based on an old Scottish poem by Robert Burns, and the song as we know it came about around 1799 or 1800. That’s important because it means the Burns estate perhaps owns the rights still to the music.
A popular theater group in New York is currently trying to produce a musical named after the song. The Burns estate claims they don’t have the right to use the name and cover it. That last part is critical, because it would mean it’s legally dubious to cover the song during New Year’s celebrations.
Current judges don’t know what to say; it combines Scottish and American law plus copyright law, which is still changing and developing. The end result could bar numerous people from singing one song, although it should be said we citizens of the Five States don’t tend to follow the rules too closely.
Henry Huntington buys Los Angeles’s Yellow Cars
By Frederick Vannesse
Called the Yellow Cars due to their yellow paint scheme, the Los Angeles Railway has been purchased by real estate tycoon Henry Huntington. Henry is the nephew of Collis Huntington, the railroad magnate who helped complete the Transatlantic Railroad by building the Central Pacific Railroad. Henry Huntington was born in 1850 and has made a name for himself in real estate. He plans to expand his influence in California by expanding the fledgling public transportation system.
Jews expelled from Kyiv, Ukraine and most major Russian cities
By Ivy Seager
Antisemitism has been on the rise in Europe for decades. The Jewish people have faced persecution in Europe for centuries. The last few decades have seen several laws passed meant to limit where Jewish people can live and work. Naturally, Jews have defied such laws and tried to carve out a life for themselves in hostile conditions. Tired these discriminatory laws not being followed, Jews are being expelled from cities in the Russian Empire as well as from Kyiv, Ukraine. It is unclear where the expelled Jewish people will go.
The Five States Herald 