Mission Statement:
To endeavor to bring to all residents of the Five States the most current and important news from across the entire Five States region. Never yellow, the Five States Herald vows to serve only the people of the Five States, from New Austin to Lemoyne, free of charge now and forever.
I Have Returned!
By Sofia Kathleen Fairfax (Lead Correspondent)
Dear Readers, I hope my previous article did not concern you that I was leaving or never going to write about you. I am glad to announce that not only am I not going to stop writing about you, I have also returned!
Although I was told for my safety, I probably shouldn’t return so soon, I managed to convince local law officials that holding me in some unnamed state was not the best use of resources. By the time you are reading this, I will already be back.
My home is in decent enough shape, and with added bodyguards armed with the latest in military technology, I feel safe and sound. Mom always said I could never stay away from danger, nor could I shy away from the place that I love.
This region has changed my life; it’s given me great fortune, fame, and much more. I would not be the woman I am without the Five States. For all its faults, aggressive wildlife, crime, and poverty, it’s impossible not to look out my window and feel my heart skip a beat at the serene beauty.
I live here, I will one day die here, and I will not regret a thing.
Swimmer found dead at the bottom of Manteca Falls
By Jose Chavez
The governments of the Five States have become concerned about the health of its residents. To encourage more healthy life choices, the governments are rewarding cowpokes for swimming. “This feller was plenty fit, but also quite poor,” said a friend of the deceased, “so he was quite excited to swim for gold nuggets.” The cowpoke chose to swim in the calm river south of Thieves’ Landing. However, he soon floated further south where things were not so calm. “I shouted to him as he swam, seeming to have not a care in the world,” said his friend, “but by the time he realized he was near the falls it was too late.” The friend threw a lasso into the water but missed and soon after that, the cowpoke went over Manteca Falls. His body was recovered below. It was determined he likely died quickly from blunt force trauma when his head hit a rock.
Two women claim to have gone to another world
By Jane Duran
One Saturday, two women decided it was time to celebrate the 20th day of April by being in nature. They hiked out with few supplies, only what they needed for a day hike in the cold Ambarino mountains. The pair of women decided to not travel far north in order to avoid the snow and settled on the Three Sisters mountain. After fishing at the nearby O’Creagh’s Run for dinner, the women hiked the Three Sisters mountain until they found a spot to rest. There, they ate and enjoyed nature, both the nature around them and the nature in a pouch they brought along. That was the last thing either woman remembers before slipping into another world.
They were found semi-awake by another traveler, who said the women at first thought he was a ‘creature from somewhere else.’ “They said they had eaten and partaken, and were then stolen off to another world,” the traveler said, “they said it looked like our world, but the colors were different and hazy.” After a few hours the women seemed to come to their senses and told the traveler they must have been day dreaming. They quickly packed and left. “I, well I think they may have been doing a cult ritual,” the traveler said, “the area smelled, well, skunky, and I saw a wooden pipe on the ground, all rather strange.” The two women were not seen again by the traveler, nor were there any reports of any women found on other trails so it can be assumed they made it home safely.
Piracy in the Five States
By Odell Clifton
Blackwater residents found themselves in a real life scene that seemed to come out of a dime novel. A ship scheduled to dock in Blackwater was accosted by pirates within viewable range of the city. The pirates appear to have been hiding out near the islands off the coast of Lemoyne. They then intercepted the merchant ship as it arrived in Flat Iron Lake from the Lannahechee River. Blackwater residents heard gunshots and cannons behind fired, drawing several residents to the coast against the advice of Blackwater Police. Blackwater Police snipers attempted to intervene, but the altercation was within view of their scopes but too far to accurately take a shot. The merchant ship had guards, but proved insufficient for the job.
Blackwater police and residents alike watched helplessly as the merchant ship was overtaken. While a telegram was sent out requesting help, help did not arrive in time. The pirates sailed away as the merchant ship slowly sank. Several residents took small boats out to rescue people trapped on the merchant ship. Several people survived but the guards were all killed. The shipwreck will be searched to determine what was taken.
Hotel customer assaulted, prevails over outlaws
By Donna Deshner
The Saint Motel was attacked this week by two outlaws. Owner Arnold Dunn took cover behind his desk as the outlaws marched up front. It is not clear if the attack was random or the attackers were targeting a specific guest. A guest did take the situation into their own hands. “I don’t get into the background of my guests,” said Mr. Dunn, “coin is coin, but I do know many of my guests are hardened gunslingers.” It just so happened a guest was quite skilled with a double barrel shotgun. The attackers shot randomly into rooms and made their way upstairs where they faced the guest in question. They pushed past a door and tried to overwhelm the guest, but he fought the first one back and fired his shotgun, blowing the man’s head clean off. The sight of his friend being killed instantly was enough to make the other attacker hesitate, resulting in his head being blown off too.
Deputies responded to the scene and assisted Mr. Dunn in removing the bodies. When asked about his skill with a shotgun, the guest who defended the Saint Motel said, “Not that I needed to be at that range, but I’m a fucking surgeon with this shotgun,” while holding the double barrel he used to save the day proudly. The guest was offered a free bath and a free room anytime he needs.
WANTED!
Investigators: Travel the Five States and report on what is going on.
Writers: Write the stories investigators find!
Photographers:
To take photographs to be used in the Herald.
Can also do all three!
Wanted “scavenger killer” killed in the bayou
By Emeline Vickroy
For several weeks an unnamed man referred to as the “scavenger killer” lurked in the remote areas stalking collectors, with only a few reports from collectors who survived attacks. The survivors had to flee quickly, in some cases leaving a collectible item behind for the scavenger. Less fortunate collectors have been killed and found dead with all of their possessions stolen. As the only motivation seems to be stealing the collectibles, authorities referred to him as the “scavenger killer” as he acts more like a scavenger than a human. Those who survived attacks described them as coming ‘out of nowhere’ with little time to do anything but react defensively. “I heard the gunshots and felt pain in my shoulder,” said one survivor, “it was all I could do to fall behind a tree and fire my gun wildly to scare them away.” This has left few details about what the scavenger killed looked like. However, this week, the scavenger met his end.
“A collector came into the station and brought a dead body with him,” said a Saint Denis policeman, “and we had enough of a description to confirm it was the scavenger killer, combined with his method of attack.” The collector said they were attacked after finding an arrowhead, but the killer failed and fled. But this collector was a trained marksman and shot the scavenger as he fled. Once news spread about the scavenger’s death, collectors all over Saint Denis began to celebrate. “I understand why folks are happy, but they shouldn’t let their guard down,” said a Saint Denis policeman, “plenty of entitled folk still want stuff without working for it, so there’ll always be an outlaw around a corner or behind a tree looking to end your life and take what’s yours.”
“Witch doctor” demonstrates how to raise a horse from the dead
By Adam Parvey
Witnesses say a man they call the “witch doctor” is going around the Five States and raising horses from the dead. Even stranger than this claim is the method the man allegedly uses. “I saw him in Valentine, near the train station,” said one witness, “and after his horse was shot dead he rode another horse and rammed into his horse’s dead body!” Several other witnesses gasped when they saw the treatment of the dead horse. However, those gasps of disgust turned into gasps of shock. According to multiple Valentine residents, the dead horse stood back up and started running. The “witch doctor” then had his assistant shoot his horse dead once again. This time, a stable hand from the Valentine stables examined the horse and confirmed that it was dead. Then, once again, the “witch doctor” rammed his dead horse while riding another horse until his dead horse reanimated and stood back up.
Several residents walked away at this point, in both shock and horror. The sheriff’s office received multiple complaints but the horse was alive and it was his own horse being harmed. “I ain’t one for animal cruelty,” said one deputy, “but it was his own horse so we couldn’t arrest him for using his own property as he sees fit.” Other residents were not happy with the horse’s treatment, ultimately running the “witch doctor” out of town. Stories started popping up about the “witch doctor” in other towns soon, as he shared his method for raising dead horses across the Five States.
The Five States Herald 