Issue CCCXLIII

Mission Statement:
To endeavor to bring to all residents of the Five States the most current and important news from across the entire Five States region. Never yellow, the Five States Herald vows to serve only the people of the Five States, from New Austin to Lemoyne, free of charge now and forever.

Cargo Steamer Myra Center of International Criminal Operation!

By Sofia Kathleen Fairfax (Lead Correspondent)

Dear readers, I am doing well.  The coffee I have been served as of late has been of better quality than I expected, and a few of the local officers have been good conversationalists.  I am thankful that no acts of violence have been undertaken at the department headquarters.  I now must ask of you, to watch for a ship.

This photograph is of the cargo steamer Myra; its home port is Southampton England.  It is 420 feet long, weighs 5803 tons, and goes about 14 miles per hour.  It looks like any other refrigerated cargo ship; there’s really nothing special about it, except its cargo and owner.

This is the primary ship Hindley uses to move his vast supply of alcohol.  My personal Lady with the Lamp, Cora, informed me through her work. 

The alcohol is hidden somewhere within the vessel, perhaps under its usual cargo of coal.  Hindley has many other ships, but this is the only one he personally owns, and it is likely his largest ship.

If this vessel can be impounded, then it would severely cripple his attempt to gain influence in the Five States.  As I always warned, this information puts me and others at risk.  You must do your duty as much as I.  Godspeed!

Raid on Del Lobo gang exposed link to Mexican government
By Jose Chavez
It has been speculated that the research of the Del Lobo gang was the result of funding from the Mexican government. The Mexican government denied the accusations. This week, a team of New Austin Rangers, raided a Del Lobo camp. The raid was successful, leading to the death or capture of over two dozen Del Lobo gang members. During the cleanup, dozens of firearms our confiscated. The firearms were standard issue for the Mexican army. One of the gang members even confessed, though they did not exactly have first hand information. “We have one gang member who said he heard a foreign government was giving them guns, but didn’t know which one,” said one of the Rangers. The Mexican government did offer a reply, once again denying any involvement with the Del Lobo gang.

“Two weeks ago, one of our firearms storage facilities was attacked,” said a spokesman for the Mexican government, “we did not report this publicly for political reasons, but we will provide internal documents to the U.S. government to clear any doubt regarding our denial of working with gang members.” The U.S. government has not issued a statement, other than to acknowledge the finding and that it is discussing the situation with an ambassador from Mexico.


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Railroad massacre!
By Jane Duran
Authorities are combing through the remains of more than 100 bodies following a massacre unlike anything ever seen. A train had been reported as stolen just north of Annesburg. The Ambarino Rangers were contacted and they began searching for the stolen train. Stolen trains typically are found abandoned, some distance from where they are stolen. In most cases, there is minimal damage. This, was unlike most cases. A pair of Ambarino Rangers came across what they described as a massacre. “There were bodies, or parts of bodies, everywhere along the track,” said one of the Rangers, “I’ve seen death and dismemberment, but this was different, this was a lifetime’s worth of gore.” The trail was lined with corpses and body parts for hundreds of feet, the train abandoned at the end of the morbid trail.

After reporting what they found, neither Ranger returned to the scene and one announced their retirement. Investigators have begun the long process of attempting to identify the bodies. Part of that process is sorting through the gore to find items that may identify the victims. Presently, there is no suspect. “We believe this had to be done by a gang of at least a dozen individuals,” said one investigator, “through intimidation they tied up and placed the riders on the track before running them over.” No witness saw the person steal the train either. The train’s engineer walked into Annesburg and said he was attacked by a couple of masked outlaws who blocked the track with a couple of crates of what looked like dynamite. “The engineer was pretty frightened, said he had to stop or risk his own and his passengers lives,” an Annesburg deputy said, “seems like stopping saved him and the train, but not his passengers.”

Naturalists arrive at “pelican island” to defend the defenseless
By Odell Clifton
A gold nugget bounty on pelican feathers brought several hunters to a small island unofficially called pelican island due to its large population of pelicans. Several naturalists arrived shortly after the bounty had been announced. “We know whenever pelicans are hunted that hunters come here, to pelican island,” said one of the naturalists, “and while we prefer not to kill living things, we will defend the defenseless and kill aggressors.” Several hunters found themselves unable to reach the island without drawing the naturalists attention. Those that tried to wait the naturalists out learned that their patience was no match for the naturalists’ resolve. Surprisingly, there were not reported shootouts as the hunters opted to leave the area.

The bounty itself is now under scrutiny. It was learned that a wealthy individual put up the gold nuggets for the bounty but asked to remain anonymous. However, a few amateur sleuths have connected the bounty to a strange salesman who recently traveled the Five States. The salesman offered totems made from ancient Indian secrets. Though he was no Indian, he claimed to have learned from these secrets from several tribes. He described the long process of obtaining the items and how securing them properly was important to the totem’s power. His best selling item was an alleged cure-all that had a pelican feather affixed to it. “I think that salesman was a fraud, misrepresenting what few understand for his own financial gain,” said one of the amateur detectives, “now he is paying for pelican feathers obtained easily and cruelly to sell more lies, more snake oil.” The salesman never revealed their identity, but if they show up again several folks will be prepared to show him his way out.


Need a wagon? Of course you do! And you don’t want a poorly crafted wagon, right? Of course not! So come see me, Wallace, and buy a finely crafted wagon and bet my bear Spot!

Cowpoke wonders what people are doing at Keane’s Saloon
By Donna Deshner
While many may not realize it, Valentine is a town of two saloons. Smithfield’s Saloon can be found on the main street of Valentine and is by far the most popular of the two. Featuring a talented pianist, the services of a skilled barber, rooms to be entertained in, decent meals, and of course alcohol, Smithfield’s satisfies the needs of most folks. However, to the edge of town you can find a much smaller saloon owned by Ned Keane. Keane’s does not offer a barber, a pianist, or rooms, but it does have adequate food and libations, while being able to boast about being the oldest saloon in town. For a long while, ranch hands and other townsfolks relaxed in Keane’s after a hard day’s work. “Truth is, Keane’s didn’t offer much but we also didn’t need much,” said one older Valentine resident who remembers days before Smithfield’s, “it was packed constantly, but that was part of the charm.” Due to the popularity of the local saloon, Cliff Douglas moved to Valentine to open a larger saloon in the town. The rest is history. Now Smithfield’s is packed every night while Keane’s barely draws a few ne’er-do-wells.

This week, a cowpoke walked into Keane’s and was caught by surprise. “I walked in and found the place full, every seat with some feller sitting in it,” the cowpoke said, “they all looked at me like I didn’t belong.” The cowpoke stepped back out and started asking why anyone would just sit around in the first place. “Why would people just sit around like that and do nothing?” the cowpoke asked, “shouldn’t they be out fishing, or hunting, or catching bounties, or taking odd jobs?” The cowpoke seemed genuinely surprised that some folks like to spend their time in the Five States relaxing with their friends and that such relaxation does not preclude such activities as hunting or fishing. Soon after the cowpoke mocked those in Keane’s several walked out, their hands casually resting on their side arms. The cowpoke took the hint and rode off into the night.

Unions organizing in Saint Denis
By Aloysius Levron
Works in Saint Denis are banding together and demanding better pay and working conditions. For years, workers in the mining industry have been at the forefront of unionization and seeking better conditions and treatment. Many miners who leave the job early have found their way to Saint Denis, where they work the docks. Such work is ideal for their skillset and avoids the hazards of working inside of a mine. They have brought their history of unionization to the Saint Denis docks with them. As a result, dockworkers are demanding a list of conditions. First, dockworkers want fewer work hours. “We work 10-12 hour days, we want an 8 hour work day with a 1 hour break,” said one of the workers.

Second, the dockworkers are asking for more pay. “We understand working less hours means we will get less pay, so we want a raise so we do not lose much pay,” said the worker, “while we will accept more time to rest and enjoy our lives as compensation for the rest of the lost pay.” The dockworkers have a third demand: security. “Far too often gutless outlaws pick on tired, hardworking dockworkers,” said one of the workers, “we are often thrown off the pier into water, shot at, ran over by horses, and other violent crimes and we demand to be protected by our employer!” The various employers that hire dockworkers in Saint Denis have announced they have no plans for unionization and warn against it.

Demand for unavailable knife soars

By Adam Parvey

The Five States has a long and storied history. For awhile, several investors saw the Five States as a region ripe with potential for huge profits. Jobs were aplenty, cowpokes were kinder, and the good folks at Wheeler, Rawson, & Co. issued exclusive items available through “club passes.” The passes were wildly popular, offering both new items as well as challenges. The passes did not make all items available at once, but gave the purchaser opportunity to earn these items through hard work. The passes were available for a limited time, creating a sense of exclusivity. For those who were in the Five States at the time, they had a choice to opt in or not. Those who did not participate in the passes chose to forgo the exclusive items. But what of those who only recently moved to the Five States?

New residents have expressed frustration after learning about these passes the exclusive items they contained. They were not here when the passes were available and are forever unavailable. One item in particular, the bagshot knife, has risen in demand. Cowpokes have seen it in catalogues and even seen it wielded by others. Yet, there is no place to purchase the coveted knife. Several residents have taken to writing the Wheeler, Rawson, and Co. company requesting the item be made available again. The company has not replied to any requests, nor did it reply our specific request for a comment.

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