Mission Statement:
To endeavor to bring to all residents of the Five States the most current and important news from across the entire Five States region. Never yellow, the Five States Herald vows to serve only the people of the Five States, from New Austin to Lemoyne, free of charge now and forever.
Shapechanger in the Five States?
By Lucien Privitt
There are many tales of doppelgangers in the Five States, people who appear as a complete copy of another person. These are not identical twins, as those who claim to have seen their doppelgangers do not have twins and in some cases do not have siblings at all. Where these doppelgangers come from is still unknown, though a scientist who looks into the unknown, Dr. W. Bishop, claims the doppelgangers are from a parallel universe. However, a new story is making the rounds in the Five States of someone that changed their shape to look like another person. “I watched this person change their appearance and suddenly they looked like me,” and then they walked up to my horse and killed it!”
The identity theft victim admitted to be quite shaken, however once their horse was killed they found their resolve. “I pulled out an arrow, notched it on my bow and fired,” they said, “and then I kept firing until he no longer moved.” The body was taken to a doctor to be examined, but nothing out of the ordinary was found. “The body looked like any other body, except the dozens of arrows in it,” the doctor said, “had I not been told otherwise, I would have assumed this was the other man’s twin.” Once again, no records of a twin exist but the alleged shaperchanger’s internal organs matched everything the doctor expected in a human. We turned to Dr. W. Bishop for answers.
“Well, a parallel universe could still explain this, perhaps a universe where shape changing technology has been created,” Dr. Bishop said, “or perhaps another species evolved in a parallel universe, endless possibilities really.” But perhaps there is a more local explanation. The Indians that have roamed this land have stories of shapechangers, from the skinwalker to the wendigo, several tribes have unique stories of creatures that change their skin or shape. Such creatures are often seen as horrifying monsters and evil. Though some shapechanging is part of the rituals of some tribes. American authorities have long dismissed such stories of shapechangers as superstition. But if this claim is true, do we have a new creature to fear in the Five States?
Tumbleweed resident not arrested following beatdown killing
By Jose Chavez
A cowpoke was beat to death this week in Tumbleweed. The resident who did the killing, several witnesses saw the act and he admitted it, was determined to have been acting in self defense. As the story goes, the cowpoke was on a horse and riding close by the resident. Then the cowpoke started kicking them. The local, whose name was asked to be kept out of the papers, then pulled the cowpoke off their horse and started burying punches into their lower back. The cowpoke did not last long and eventually collapsed. The cowpoke did not wake up. With no town doctor, he was put on a wagon and taken to Blackwater but did not survive the trip. State officials believe that manslaughter charges should be brought up, claiming that even by their own admission, they punched them several times and no longer qualify for self defense. However, local lawmen said that is silly
Gunfight in abandoned town leads to several dozen dead
By Jane Duran
A gunfight between unknown parties occurred in Colton this week. State police were notified by a hunter who heard the gunshots being fired. “I don’t know what the fight was a bout, only saw several folks shooting at each other,” the hunter said, “so I rode down to Strawberry to get help.” By the time a posse of lawmen and volunteers could be musted to investigate and travel to Colter, the gunfight was long over. Dozens of bodies lay spread across the deserted mining town. Some wore blue bands on their arms and some wore red ones. Investigators are unsure what the arm bands mean but suspect it is some type of gang affiliation. None of the bodies were identified as of press time.
Woman rescued by good Samaritan
By Odell Clifton
A cowpoke was riding around in West Elizabeth when they saw a woman standing beside a dead horse. “I’ve heard about a few folks luring in travelers pretending to be in need,” they said, “so I had a hand on my pistol but quickly saw this was a genuine crisis.” The woman’s horse had just fell over and died. The horse was described as old but sturdy and loyal by the woman. The traveler offered her a ride on his own horse. She collected what she could and was taken to her home. “I know I’ve been in a place where I needed help, so I was happy to offer it,” the traveler said, “I just hope she is able to get back on her feet.” With most stories told about the Five States being about violence and death, it is important that we remember there is still good in the world.
Residents returning to the Five States unable to get in
By Nick McCrary
Hundreds of residents found themselves unable to enter the Five States this week. Federal lawmen were stationed on all roads that enter the Five States and prevented entrance into the region. Some people mentioned little known side roads that still allowed access, but most people were completely cutoff. The federal lawmen did not provide a reason. “All that the American people need to know is that our reason is a lawful one,” one federal agent said, “beyond that, we cannot say as to not jeopardize our task.” As complaints came piling in, the agents quietly left and access to the Five States resumed. It is unclear if the agents found what they were looking for or not.
Follow up questions were not answered nor is it clear what federal agency closed off the Five States. Speculation is that the search may have been related to the moonshining operations in the region, but we confirmed that the Bureau of Internal Revenue was not involved.
Cowpoke nearly passes out after smoking five cigarettes back to back
By Emery Cosberry
A cowpoke walked into Smithfield’s Saloon, ordered a whiskey, sat down at a table by themselves, and lit a cigarette. Witnesses say they started coughing uncontrollably almost instantly but continued smoking the cigarette. “I’ve seen them before,” said Smithfield’s owner, “but never seen them smoke a cigarette before.” Others who knew the cowpoke said they never smoked before. But on this occasion, they not only pushed through coughing fits to finish their cigarette, they proceeded to immediately smoke another one, then another, and another. Eventually they stopped after the fifth cigarette. “After the fifth one, they just kind of looked unsteady and a bit green in the face,” said the bartender, “then they fell over.” Several patrons so to the cowpoke and helped them back up. They woke up soon after not realizing that they had passed out at all. The town doctor, though three drinks in himself, examined the cowpoke and said they are likely fine just smoked a bit too much. “Likely just too much smoke not enough air,” the doctor said and then returned to his bottle. The cowpoke was fine the next day and seemed to not have any lingering issues.
Wave of theft across Lemoyne leads to raid on local pawn shop
By Aloysius Levron
Theft is a common crime in the Five States, a crime that lawmen rarely investigate seriously. However, when the theft is from the well off, it is taken a bit more seriously. “It is not that we favor the rich,” said one policeman, “it’s just that poor folks have common items that are stolen and as such, items harder to verify ownership of.” He explained that wealthier people have unique items stolen, which are easier to locate and verify as stolen merchandise. This week several thefts were reported across Saint Denis, thefts from the homes of wealthy residents. Pressure mounted on Saint Denis police to do something and so late this week they finally did. The police waited until Saturday to raid a known local pawn shop. The shop owner was caught off guard but was very cooperative, showing the police around and even willfully giving up items said to be stolen. He claimed ignorance of their stolen origins, believing they were, “folks have a bad spell and just needing a bit of money, so parting with some heirlooms.” The police confiscated nearly two dozen stolen items. The police collected dozens more but returned them, being unable to confirm that they were stolen. “We fined the shop owner for the purchase of stolen items, but he was very cooperative with us,” one policeman said, “and so we opted to not arrest him, believing he was a victim too, but the fine will keep him vigilante in the future.”
French Town Ranked Best!
By Sofia Kathleen Fairfax – Lead Correspondent
France, probably one of the first nations you consider lovely, even if you haven’t been there, you know what it looks like. Rolling hills, small villages, a nation that at times feels like it’s still the Middle Ages.
Of course, that’s just part of the country, parts of Northern France and Southern France. Cities like Paris or Nice are quite advanced, ancient dwellings.
But many love the imagery of the rustic provincial towns, to a point that some argue over what is the best town. Well, today, after much consensus building, an answer has arisen.
The town of Sainte-Agnès is located on the southeastern corner of France. An old château ruin stands on top of a mountain, among the highest points in the region. The town sits just below it, with sweeping views stretching across the horizon, including the ocean.
Only about a hundred or so people live here. They mostly farm and sell wine. It’s a quaint life; it’s unlikely anyone here will ever be president of France or amount to much, but they do not complain. It is its own reward, seeing the sun rise and fall, says one citizen.
If you were to ask a Frenchmen what they think America is, they would have this idealist idea of farmers and cattle drives. That’s not really true anymore for us, but it is comforting, that our romantic notion of France, is real if you look.
The Five States Herald 