Issue CCCLX

Mission Statement:
To endeavor to bring to all residents of the Five States the most current and important news from across the entire Five States region. Never yellow, the Five States Herald vows to serve only the people of the Five States, from New Austin to Lemoyne, free of charge now and forever.

Storm of Past Century Remembered!

By Sofia Kathleen Fairfax – Lead Correspondent

Legends always live on, even when the skies turn gloomy.  Recent talk of a powerful brewing hurricane out in the Atlantic has reminded some of a storm from generations ago.  A storm so powerful, that those who witnessed it thought the end times had come.

It was October 1780.  Heavy storms were common in this era, but this one, was unlike any other.  It came in with winds that were said to be over 200 miles an hour.  Trees were lifted up and thrown through houses, entire cities were wiped away, and ships were torn apart like children’s toys.  How many died is unknown, but estimates go as high as 20 thousand, comparable to a Civil War battle.  Forty ships vanished from the face of the Earth, the very geography of islands, changed.

This, was the legacy of the Great Hurricane: abject obliteration.  None who witnessed it still draw breath, but it’s not hard to find tales of grandparents who never enjoyed the water again.  The hurricane we may soon have to deal with, will be powerful, and it will be violent.  But nothing on Earth will ever compare, to an October Fury without equal, whose power could only be compared to the almighty himself.



Man arrested after killing posse
By Jose Chavez
A cowpoke was arrested and brought into the Tumbleweed jail after murdering his own friends. He was turned in by another posse mate who survived the attack. “I don’t know what happened, we were sitting at camp relaxing,” the survivor said, “when they started shooting!” The survivor jumped to the ground and crawled away as the others engaged in the shootout. They said they whistled for their horse and then quickly rode into Tumbleweed. “I heard the shooting continue and so I just rode harder,” the survivor said. The attacker was soon hot on their trail, however, the survivor made it to town and local law enforcement intervened. The killer was arrested for the murder of three people. As he was hauled into jail he kept shouting, “I need another headshot! I need another headshot dammit!”

Two of the victims had been shot in the head, the other was shot in the throat and bled out. The motivation for the attack is unclear.

Pressure mounts on Special Agent Rice Philips
By Jane Duran
The attorney for Emmaline Haven, accused of being the serial murderer the Executioner, has asserted Miss Haven’s right to a speedy trial. As it is the federal government bringing the case against Miss Haven, the right to a speedy trial is guaranteed. A hearing is expected this week to determine a court date. The state, led by Special Agent Rice Philips, is demanding more time to collect evidence. The court has ordered Agent Philips and his bureau to submit all relevant evidence that has been collected so far. Agent Philips has been described as tense since the ruling. Agent Philips has regularly tried to delay a trial date, claiming more evidence is needed to secure a conviction while also claiming he has enough evidence to be certain of Miss Haven’s guilt. I am told the additional killings that have taken place following The Executioner’s MO has no baring on the upcoming case and only Miss Haven’s right to a speedy trial will be considered.

Grizzly bear mauling leads to moonshine operation discovery
By Odell Clifton
West Elizabeth state police were patrolling the state when they came across a mutilated corpse. “We saw some scavenger animals clustered up by a cabin,” said one of the lawmen, “we fired a gun to scatter them and then saw the corpse.” The body was described as unidentifiable. The door to the cabin was slightly ajar and so the lawmen assumed this may have been the victim’s home. “We went in, looking for other victims or someone who knew the deceased,” the agents explained. But what they found when they entered the cabin was an illegal moonshine operation. In the basement, the lawmen found a man distilling alcohol and an entire underground saloon. “None of them heard the bear attack above,” a lawmen said, “but they were all surprised to see us.” The patrons of the saloon were questioned but released. The distiller was arrested. So far the distiller has said nothing regarding the potential identity of the bear mauling victim. Nor is it confirmed that the victim is linked to the moonshine operation at all.


They say you can’t buy happiness, but for $3.75 you can buy Old Blood Eyes Kentucky Bourbon. Might be the closest you can get to buying happiness.

Bounty hunter discovers chain of corruption?
By Emery Cosberry
This story is breaking and details are still being put together. As of press, information is limited. But we will remain on this case as it unfolds. A bounty hunter recently accused a high ranking member of the New Hanover government of corruption. The bounty hunter turned in a bounty and then declared to the entire town the discovery they made. “This outlaw I just arrested had on his person, a correspondence from a man who works in the governor’s office,” the bounty hunter said, “which ordered him to commit crimes in New Hanover and they would have their sentences reduced!” The bounty hunter noted that the note also had an explicit order that the note be destroyed.

The governor’s office issued a rebuttal of the claim. “The governor has heard about some drunken ex-lawman making wild accusations,” a press release stated, “we emphatically deny the allegations and will offer no further comment on them.” The governor’s office did not provide any evidence to refute the claim nor elaborate on their refutation. While we will be following up on this story, it is unclear if an official investigation will be opened.

Woman arrested for accidentally killing her friend
By Emeline Vickroy
Two women had drawn the attention of Rhodes deputies with their mischievous behavior. They spent much of the morning vandalizing the large bell in town. “Folks reported them, they were throwing things at the bell and pushing it,” said a deputy, “at one point one of them started shooting at it.” Deputies said they began to approach once gunshots rang out. As they got closer to the scene, however, they noticed all had gone quiet. “They had stopped, one was laying the ground,” said a deputy, “the other staring downward in disbelief.” According to other witnesses, one of the women had just begun unloading her handguns on the bell when he friend charged forward. “Her friend just ran in front of the wrong path,” said a witness, “took a bullet to the head.” The woman fell to the ground as her friend remained silent. Though it is being treated as a horrible accident, the woman was arrested. “She didn’t mean to kill her friend, of that we are certain,” said the arresting deputy, “but that kind of wonton violence and vandalism has consequences and she is going to have to deal with that now.”

Ice Industry Flourishes!

By Sofia Kathleen Fairfax – Lead Correspondent

It’s the middle of summer, and the heat across this nation is rising.  Reports of a heat wave are well-founded; even those in the snowy Grizzly Mountains complain of the temperature.  In the deep south, like Lemoyne, it’s unbearable, perhaps even life-threatening.  Nobody is happy, except perhaps, the ice industry.

It sounds so simple: companies will mine ice out of lakes in the winter, and move these blocks via ship to ports around the world.  The ice is maintained by ice houses that artificially keep the temperature down, and ultimately, the product is used to preserve meat and reduce heat for various individuals.  Simple yes, but a moneymaker beyond all doubt.

Take Saint-Denis, a large port city in a scorching state.  Every day, ice ships unload cargo, which is quickly stored in dozens of ice houses.  It’s a way of life; it’s a luxury few scoff at.  Despite increasing mysterious events concerning shipping, the ice vessels continue to sail into port. 

Who runs the ice industry is unclear.  There is no Cornwall or Tremaine-like figure; it is just several large companies operated hundreds of miles away from the Five States, commanded by businessmen whose names nobody cares to know.

All that matters, is this temperature, is liquid gold to them.  The average person may sweat and die, but those who control the ice, never need to worry about their finances. 

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