Mission Statement:
To endeavor to bring to all residents of the Five States the most current and important news from across the entire Five States region. Never yellow, the Five States Herald vows to serve only the people of the Five States, from New Austin to Lemoyne, free of charge now and forever.
Race organizers respond to complaints
By Lucien Privitt
Race organizers have faced a great deal of criticism. Many of wondered why guns are allowed in races at all or why some races place guns along the track to encourage their use. Recently, many have criticized the routes themselves as being dangerous, such as forcing horses to run through cacti. Race organizers have responded to complaints by not addressing them at all and instead, offering larger prizes. Racers who are able to place in the top three spots are eligible for other rewards, such as clothing and a discount on stable space. Residents had mixed reactions to the announcement. “Racing is still violent and not sporting,” said one regular racer, “and you can’t count on gentleman’s agreements either because one starts shooting and they all do.” One person I spoke to even suggested the additional prizes for placing in the top three will encourage more violence. “Why race fair and proper when you can cheat to get a free hat?” they asked.
Still, at least organizers are doing something. Even if the routes are not being adjusted. Even if people can still bring weapons to a horse race. Even if racing is less sporting. At least someone is doing something, right?
U.S. forces prepare for expedition into Mexico
By Jose Chavez
The U.S. and Mexico governments have come to terms on an agreement that will see U.S. forces entering Mexico. The agreement will allow U.S. forces to patrol the Mexican border on the southern side, but only within a mile of the nation’s border. The patrols include “searching for and rooting out smuggling operations” that U.S. officials believe are arming gang members in New Austin. The agreement arrived just as discussion got heated. According to one source, there was concern war was going to break out between the two nations.
The agreement is not for a long period of time. If no signs of smuggling are found within three months, U.S. forces must end their patrols of the area. Mexican officials will be the ones to determine the quality of any evidence found.
Immortal in Ambarino?
By Jane Duran
A cowpoke rode into Strawberry telling a very tall tale. He said he was attacked by someone out in the cold wilderness of Ambarino. However, he managed to run up a hill and take cover. From this vantage point, the cowpoke was able to line up a shot using a scope. “From where I was, they couldn’t quite get a bead on me, but I could see them,” the cowpoke said, “so I took my first shot and got them in the leg.” To the cowpoke’s surprise, the man stood back up in the snow. “It wasn’t a kill shot, but he shouldn’t have gotten up so quickly,” they said. The cowpoke said they fired several more shots, each one hitting the mark. And yet, the man stood back up.
“At that caliber, a single chest shot should have ended him,” the cowpoke said, “buy to survive three?” They left the mountain quickly and headed to Strawberry only to be disappointed when reminded that it is a dry town. They then rode south to Blackwater, where they got drunk for several days. No other reports of the “Immortal of Ambarino” were made.
The only dry town in the Five States sees a new and dangerous activity flourish
By Odell Clifton
A new activity has sprung up in Strawberry: high diving. The activity is simple. Climb a building alongside the stream passing through the town. The higher the better. Then jump into the stream and survive. The latter part is both a matter of luck and skill, according to its participants. “You have to know where to jump to avoid the shallowest parts,” one high diver said, “but you need to be lucky that you hit where you intend, otherwise…well, pain or death.” In thi scase, we cannot blame alcohol as Strawberry is a dry town. Though some have said the fact that it is a dry town has led to such dangerous activities. “Everywhere else folks have a few drinks after a long day,” said one resident, “but here, I guess they jump off buildings into a stream.” Normally when people do dangerous things that offer no reward, we blame it on intoxication. But when people do dangerous things in a dry town, we must blame something else, but what?
Man survives being thrown off a cliff
By Donna Deshner
Valentine deputies were on the search for a cowpoke who attempted to murder someone. The survivor said they had just left Valentine when they noticed someone following them. They sped their horse up and noticed their pursuer sped up as well. The next thing the victim knew, a lasso was around them and they were being dragged off their horse. “Dirt was in my mouth, I was really confused,” the victim said, “I couldn’t get myself free and then suddenly, I stopped moving.” Here, another passerby saw what occurred. The victim got out of the lasso and stood up. But as they were dusting themselves off their attack ran at them and pushed them off a cliff. The witness yelled out and called for lawmen and the attacker fled the scene immediately. Two lawmen arrived and a few others joined in on the rescue effort. The victim fell to the bottom but miraculously survived.
“I hurt plenty,” they said, “but I had a solid dinner of minty meat and a bit of alcohol, fortified me for the fall.” The man survived with only minor injuries, shocking all. “Though they survived, we want the attacker brought in,” said one deputy, “it ain’t right to be throwing people off cliffs and not paying the price for your crimes!”
Train schedule brought to a stand still over fisherman
By Mathilde Orry
A fisherman decided the perfect place to fish for bullhead catfish was off of a train track bridge. “Folks weren’t too happy, but lots of other places are filled with alligators and that ain’t safe,” the man said, “so I blocked the tracks with a wagon and walked over to the bridge to fish.” The wagon proved to be a smart decision as it was visible from far enough away that an oncoming train was able to come to a complete stop. The driver blew the whistle and demanded that the man leave but he just ignored him and kept fishing. One of the trains workers walked into Saint Denis to report the man, however, it was far enough outside of the Saint Denis city limits that local law enforcement could not help. They did contact state lawmen.
By the time the Lemoyne State Police showed up, the man had already left. Several trains had gotten backed up and the schedule was several hours behind. “It’s awfully selfish of that man to do that,” said the train operator, “fish in this area can’t be eaten anyway, too much poison from the nearby factories.” However, it seems the fisherman knew this, as several dead fish were found left on the track.
Lost Document of Confederate Battle Found!
By Sofia Kathleen Fairfax (Lead Correspondent)
So often, we study history, wondering what happened in a long-ago event. We turn to history books and historians, but they are frequently incomplete. The pages of history are sometimes torn out, lost to time for one reason or another. But also, just as often, are the pages found, in plain sight, as they once were.
A question that haunts historians who study the Battle of Scarlett Meadows, is how much of the blame falls upon General Quincy Harris. Many people praise him, and just as many condemn him. His staff officers did not survive the war, but a few lived long enough to write what they thought of the man they served under. Such documents are noted to have existed, but have never been seen, until this week.
A young woman going through a small archive in Saint-Denis, found a piece of paper in a book, mislabeled but always on display. The paper was an after-action report by one of these staff officers; it condemned the general as a coward who sacrificed many men for vain glory.
A few locals are unhappy with the revelation, calling it slander and questioning how authentic the document is. The locals can deal with the knowledge however they please. At the end of the day, history is better understood; it’s just not always what you want.
The Five States Herald 